5 Tips To Reduce Toddler Bedtime Meltdowns
For many parents of toddlers, bedtime can become a battle. Between stalling tactics and meltdowns, it's easy to start dreading bedtime with your little one. While the unfortunate truth is that most toddlers go through this phase, it can also become worse as they age and start looking to push boundaries. Having been there with my own children, I know this can be frustrating and discouraging.
The good news is there are things you can implement to make bedtime easier for your whole family. These five tips are my first line of defense for any toddler bedtime meltdowns!
Turn off the screens an hour before bed
I know, sometimes at the end of the day it can seem easy to wind down with a show or a movie. But the blue light from screens can actually disrupt the production of melatonin, which signals our bodies it is time for bed. Turning on a screen close to bedtime can actually wake the body up and prevent an easy transition to sleep!
Instead, find other ways to wind down and connect. This can mean reading books together, cuddling, or playing a game of imagination. Check out my Instagram Post for more ideas of fun activities. Connection like this fills their cup and makes them feel safe and confident enough to head to bed.
Use warnings to help prepare
Your child will be more likely to push back less when it comes time to start the bedtime routine if they know it's coming and have time to wrap up whatever they are doing. Give 10, 5, and 2-minute warnings as bedtime approaches so that they can finish up their play. For example “Two more minutes to play with your blocks, then we need to start picking up”. Many tantrums boil down to children feeling out of control, and since they can't tell time yet, this can help them understand their own schedule and how to move forward.
As a bonus, this can help you teach little ones about time and what ten or two minutes feels like. You may even want to set a timer.
Use a visual checklist/book
Helping your child know what to expect during their bedtime routine can empower them and get them involved. Create a simple chart using pictures to represent each step in your routine, which allows you to dictate the steps toward bedtime. Or create a bedtime book, here is my favorite to create with kids. As you move from task to task, let your child check off what has been done and ask if they know what comes next and let them initiate the transition.
Let your child make choices
Your toddler obviously doesn't have a choice in going to bed, or even when they have to go to bed. To make them feel empowered, you can create guardrails and boundaries, then leave smaller choices up to them. Try asking which set of pajamas they want to wear, or which of two books they prefer to read.
Be sure that the questions you ask aren't open-ended. Asking, "Do you want to brush your teeth?" is going to lead to an inevitable cry of "NO!" and the idea that they have another choice. Instead, ask if they'd like to brush their teeth first or brush their hair first - this gives them no out but still creates a choice.
Stick with a consistent routine
Kids thrive on routine and consistency, and this can often reduce meltdowns. When they know what to expect next, things can feel less overwhelming and make a transition easier. This applies to bedtime itself - the time they go to bed should be roughly the same each night, which helps set their circadian rhythm up for success. Choose a 30-minute window and try to always do bedtime within that range.
Routines don't have to be completely strict, as you want your child to have a bit of flexibility in their life. But the more you can set up predictable steps, the more you'll see your child make the transition to bedtime without a fight.
If you're not sure how much sleep your little one needs and need help establishing an age-appropriate schedule download my FREE Baby & Toddler Sleep Chart for newborns - 3 years old.
It's important to know that nothing can prevent every meltdown: that's what toddlers do, and letting them have these big emotions is good for development. But development means you can work through them and help your toddler accept bedtime easily. The quickest way to do this is to be calm and confident, while setting realistic expectations.
A consistent response and boundaries will not only make the bedtime process better for your whole family, but builds the connection and confidence that your child will carry into the daytime as well. When your child sees you enforce a boundary, they learn you will do what you say, both in terms of implementing rules and being there for them.
In just three weeks, you can go from bedtime battles with stalling tactics, yelling, and tantrums to a smooth, easy bedtime routine that everyone enjoys within 3 weeks with my 1:1 Sleep Program.
My 3 Week Program is for exhausted parents of 2- to 7-year-olds who are tired of their child’s sleep habits taking over the entire family’s life and want simple, effective strategies and solutions for independent sleep, without using “cry it out.”
Clients who go through this program see a positive change at night, as well as during the day. If you are ready to prioritize sleep in your home lets chat! Book your 15-Minute Free Sleep Assessment Call and tell me all about your child's sleep, your sleep goals for your child and I will tell you how my 4-step customized sleep program will help you end your sleep struggles in just 3 weeks!
Baby Booty Members receive a discount from Kim as well!
About Kim: Kim is a Certified Pediatric Sleep Coach and founder of Kim Chapman Consulting, where she helps families 1:1 with their children ages 0-7 years old. She is a Native Mainer, and currently lives on her family farm with her husband and 3 children ages 2 to 7 years old. She enjoys spending time with her family, listening to business podcasts, and gardening.